At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
i think im in europe. pls send help
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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