Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
