We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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