3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i've created a new STD.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
