Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
