he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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