I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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