just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
