I have demons in me.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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