They should really pass out barf bags in church
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
