and you said cock pushups were impossible
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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