And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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