Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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