left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
