hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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