Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
