you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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