Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
