I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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