a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
