Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
