I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
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the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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