My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
