If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
