Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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