6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
