I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize