Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
