What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
