So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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