Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
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