Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
