the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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