I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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