I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
