We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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