maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
