if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
