wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
