hotel room ftw
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Randomize
