i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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