Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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