And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
