I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
