he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
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I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
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I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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