i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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