someone get that fucking seahorse.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
