I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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