Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
