Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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