you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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