do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
My ATM looks so different sober.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
