You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
