you have to choose: penises or morals?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I want a musical about memes.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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