5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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