Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
