why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
