Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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