Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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