I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Floor bacon is actually really good
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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