All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
is wine microwaveable?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
