i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
