so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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