He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
