sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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