awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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