...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
