Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
